A Brooklyn Parrot Christmas

Brooklyn's wild monk parrots celebrate after helping Santa out of a jam.

A Brooklyn Parrot Christmas
© 2006-07 By Steve Baldwin

Twas the night before Christmas and the monks were at rest,
Deep within their impressive monk parrot nest;
When just around midnight a loud noise occurred,
It shook the whole nest, it woke every bird;
It roused the flock leader, who looked at his spouse,
And said, "something big just crashed into our house;"
"Don't go out," said his wife, "you're not feeling so well,"
"I must," said the leader, "you never can tell;
It might be a kestrel, it might be a hawk,
Or even a poacher," he said with a squawk;
"Well, first," said his wife, "take a bit of your medicine,"
"No time," he replied, "it might be Con Edison."

The parrot flew out, and once perched in the cold,
Saw something big stuck way up there on the pole;
"Hey you," said the parrot, "you there, with the beard,
Your sled's on our nest - you can't park that thing here!"
"I've crashed," said the man, "I was flying too fast,"
"Can we offer some help?," the monk parrot asked;
"That's kind," said the man, "but I have to confess,
My sled is quite hopelessly stuck in your nest;
Besides, what real good can you monk parrots do?
What I need is a crane or a Coast Guard rescue!"
"Yo, Beard," said the parrot, "with all due respect,
We monks are by far Nature's best architects;
We're professional builders, we're strong and we're fair,
We'll get your contraption back up in the air;"
"You can try," said the man, "but my mind's filled with doubt,"
"Cool your jets," said the parrot, "we'll straighten this out;
I'll rouse the whole crew, and get more from outside,
We'll dig your sled out so you can go on your ride."

The flock leader started a strange kind of chirpin'
So loud that it woke all the parrots in Brooklyn;
From Red Hook, Bay Ridge, and from old Sunset Park,
Small flocks of green parrots lit down in the dark;
"Let's get this guy going," the flock leader said,
"When he's gone we can all snuggle back in our beds;"
So with razor-sharp beaks, the birds tugged and they sawed,
They pushed, and they pulled with powerful claws;
They squawked, and they strained, they tugged and they cut,
And finally, they freed the old sled from its rut.

Said the monk to the man, "you can go on your way,
And deliver your toys for a fine Christmas Day!
But the man in the sled had a tear in his eye,
And the monk parrot wondered "what's wrong with this guy?"
"Yo, Santa, take off! Fly away with your freight!"
"My reindeer won't do it," said the man, "it's too late,"
"They belong to the union?," asked the monk, with a sneer;
"They clock out at midnight," said the man with the beard,
"That's too bad," said the monk. "but I'm goin' back to bed;"
"I was hoping you'd help," said the man in the sled,
"I'm no scab," said the monk, "are you out of your mind?"
"I can waiver you in," Santa said, "it'll be fine!
You can all join the union, you and all of your boys!
And the children of Brooklyn will all get their toys!"

The parrots discussed this proposal at length,
And decided a union would add to their strength;
So the birds all squawked "aye" and each grabbed at a strap,
On the sled with the toys and the man in the cap;
With a thunderous flapping they rose in the night,
Two hundred green wings pulled the sled out of sight,
And the man in the sled, now filled with affection;
Cheerfully changed his standard directions:
"On Fonzie, on Kiwi, on Tango, and Cookie!
On Max, and on Stanley, and Chester, and Lucky!
And all of you parrots whose names I don't know
I won't soon forget how you salvaged this show!"

If you're ever in Brooklyn at the end of the year,
Make sure you look up, for what might appear;
Is a big flock of parrots, towing St. Nicklaus,
And these parrots are known as Myiopsitta Monachus.


Happy Holidays to All!