Friday, November 04, 2005

Were You a Monk Parrot in a Past Life?


The BrooklynParrots.com Research Institute is proud to present our loyal readers with this highly scientific quiz whose purpose is to answer the question on everybody's minds, to wit, were you a monk parrot in a past life?

WERE YOU A MONK PARROT IN A PAST LIFE?

1. Your favorite leisure time activity is:
a. Watching TV
b. Surfing the Web
c. Reading
d. Obsessive basket-weaving

2. Your Street Name (if any) Is:
a. The Rock
b. Long Tall Sally
c. Sneaky Pete
d. Air Shark

3. Upon reaching adolescence, you:
a. Left home at the earliest possible moment
b. Wrote your memoirs
c. Asked for the keys to the car and were never seen again
d. Hung around for years, begging for freebies, until your parents literally threw you out of the nest

4. Your favorite movie is:
a. Star Wars
b. Breakfast at Tiffany's
c. Titanic
d. Birdman of Alcatraz

5. Your neighbors constantly complain about the racket you're making. What do you do?
a. Turn up the volume
b. Turn down the volume
c. Move to an apartment with thicker walls
d. Poop on them

6. When the weather gets cold, you:
a. Buy a new winter outfit
b. Fly down to Florida for a few weeks
c. Complain, complain, complain
d. Puff up your feathers, huddle with your comrades, and hope for the best

7. If somebody really wants to get under your skin, they insult you with the following perjorative term:
a. Slacker
b. Loser
c. No Goodnik
d. Invasive Species

8. You don't live in Manhattan because:
a. It's too expensive
b. It's too loud
c. Too much crime
d. The Parks Department ejected you and your relatives from Central Park and told you to never come back

9. Which vehicle most frightens you?
a. A police car
b. A hearse
c. An ambulance
d. A Utility Company truck

10. Your idea of a dream date is with:
a. Angelina Jolie
b. George Clooney
c. Rosemary Clooney
d. That cute new chick from Bay Ridge

11. Your Alma Mater is:
a. Brooklyn College
b. Yale
c. Fordham
d. The Institute for Biological Invasions

HOW TO SCORE YOUR RESULTS
If you indicated "d" on between 1-2 of these questions, you MAY have been a monk parrot in a prior life, but the odds are that you were something else. Indicating choice "d" on 4 to 6 questions means that you were definitely some sort of parrot, but not necessarily a monk. If you filled in "d" on 7 or more questions, well, you'd better come out to Brooklyn soon, because not only were you a monk parrot in a prior life, but you're one right now!
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